Negative Point

There will be one time where i was fuck up as fuck. I am so down, i keep myself in the room, i felt like God is not fair, felt like want to die, felt like I'm the most useless person ever, and i even don't know myself anymore. Feel like it was not me. That was the mental breakdown moment that will hit me sometimes. But the last time it hit me, i think that was the worst kalau nak dibandingkan dengan yang sebelum-sebelumnya. Sumpah paling teruk.
I lock myself in the room. Not eating just drinking. Scrolling on social media. Playing games. Reading. Watching any movies in my laptop. Living in the dark. I don't know why i was like that. Like super terrible.

My boyfriend know this. Dia la yang tak habis-habis bagi nasihat itu ini, and me still. Keras kepala buat perangai lagi. I'm the bad one, not listening to him. It takes time for me to terima nasihat orang bila orang suruh buat sesuatu. Even sesuatu tu memang baik. Aku tetap buat keras aku.
That's why i said. My boyfriend is the one yang boleh terima ke-tah-pape-an seketul farah ini.
He never left.
He try to fix me.
He's here when storm hit me hard.
Dia sentiasa sabar.

Semoga dia sentiasa sabar sampai bila-bila dan tidak tinggalkan aku mati lemas tenggelam dalam perasaan.